


"Oh oh oh, there's a place that I know. It's not pretty there and few have ever gone."

by SlitheredFromEden



Series: "OCD Got Nothing On Me (Yeah Right)" a memoir by Arthur Pendragon [6]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Child Neglect, Childhood Trauma, Deaf Character, F/M, M/M, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-31
Updated: 2016-01-31
Packaged: 2018-05-17 07:14:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5859259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlitheredFromEden/pseuds/SlitheredFromEden
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur sits at his seesion with Leon Knight...</p>
            </blockquote>





	"Oh oh oh, there's a place that I know. It's not pretty there and few have ever gone."

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy!!!  
> Oh yeah, title is from Dark Side by Kell Clarkson..

 

 

Arthur was suddenly anxious. Leon asked about his past no one ever asked about his past, not even Merlin. Arthur fought the urge of escaping, but Leon will catch with him since he can't get past the door yet.

"Do you not want to?" Leon raised his pen, preparing to write. 

"I do, but may I ask why the sudden sudden sudden intrest?" 

"Never sudden, Arthur. You just weren't ready." 

"What makes you think I'm I'm I'm ready now?" 

"I just do, stop stalling. " Leon huffed. 

Arthur closed his eyes, letting his memories resurface. 

 

☆

*

•

 

Arthur watched as his father watched his father walk out the door, leaving him for his new family. It wasn't usually like this, living separately that is. Once his father got married his new wife lived in the same house. Nimueh had gotten pregnant, she eventually had hee baby. Who turned out to be healthy little Morgana, Arthur was only three at the time but he loved his new sister with all his heart. 

 As a few years went by, Nimueh insisted on moving having a house of her own. She claimed that Arthur spooked her 'with his seven year old cold soulless eyes'. Uther didn't bother in convincing her that he's only seven and actually hasn't done anything. 

Before Arthur could process what was going on, he brand new family we're leaving him and so was his father. Arthur remember running up to his dad the day before Big Move. 

"Why are you leaving me, dad?" 

"I'm not leaving you, Arthur." His dad sighed. 

"Then why can't I come to?" Arthur bit his bottom lip. 

"You just can't." Uther pushed his son aside as he strode out the door. 

 Little did ten year old Arthur know that retreating back of his father would be something he'll be all to familiar with. There was an old man that spent time with Arthur in his father's absence. 

He wasn't entirely alone. Arthur had his one friend from across the street. They've been playing together for about a year. His name was Lancelot Du Laac, they learn together at his house. He was great, and it didn't matter that he was deaf. 

 _Your dad left again._ He signed. Arthur loved his sign language. He understood most of it, it was like their own secret language that the other kids couldn't understand. 

Arthur nodded, "It wasn't like I was expecting him to stay." 

 _Yeah right_ , he signed. _It's alright to want for yourself._

"What I want is to runaway." Arthur sighed. "Would you come with me?" 

 _Yes_ , he signed with a puffed chest. _Of course, I can't leave you. You wouldn't survive._

"Thank you." Arthur kicked at the dirt. 

 _It's getting late,_ Lance signed looking at the sky. _I gotta go_.

"Uncle Gaius?" Arthur asked once as Gaius tucked him into bed. 

"Yes, Arthur." 

"Would it be best if I just runaway?" 

"No, Arthur it wouldn't." Gaius' eyes narrowed at the now eleven year old boy. "Why would you do it?" 

"Maybe, dad will notice me." He admitted. 

Gaius hugged him tightly. "Listen to me, that is the most ridiculous thought ever. Have you thought about me at all? How devistated I'll be? I'll send all the police out searching for you." 

"I'm sorry, Gaius." Arthur made a mental note to tell Lancelot to forget about running away. 

Gaius kissed his forehead. "It's quite alright, my boy." 

Gaius was the greatest person Arthur ever had the privilege of meeting. He was a teacher, scientist, and his best friend. All great things aside, Gaius wasn't a very neat person when it came to housework. He usually forgets, or ignores it. 

Arthur brought it upon himself to clean, organize, and have full control of what goes where. It started becoming more of an essential then chores. There were things that Arthur did himself, he couldn't quite grasp why. All he knew it made his headaches go away. 

Gaius took notice one sunny summer day, Arthur just entered the room with Lancelot. Gaius' eyes widened as the twelve year old swung the door open and close it along with soft counting. 

"One.. two.. three.. four.." Arthur sounded exhausted from just counting. Gaius knew what Arthur was suffering from immediately. Gaius wondered how long has Arthur kept this to himself. 

After that, Gaius kept a close eye on Arthur to be sure of his diagnosis. But he caught something else. Arthur wasn't keeping his it to himself, it was as loud and clear as could be. 

Arthur was confused when Gaius told him about his sudden "not really sudden, my boy." appoint. Arthur had other things to attend to, like hang out with Lancelot. This sudden occasions, gave him a huge headache. 

Arthur noticed the stern look in his teacher's face. It made him nervous. "Am I in trouble trouble trouble?" 

"No, my dear boy." Gaius gave him an assuring smile. "You're never in trouble." 

Arthur never liked doctors. They were the people that couldn't save him mom. But this woman, was sweet and pretty. She asked him a few questions then wrote down on her note pad. Gave him a few puzzles and timed how long he took to solve it. Every time he repeated a word she tallied it at the top of her page. 

"Thank you," She smiled kindly. "You can wait over there, until I speak to your guardian." 

Arthur nodded, he took a seat by the table filled with magazines. Arthur was surprized at how his arm just reached out to fix them. Arthur went long with them, he never fought against it. He was afraid if he didn't do it now, it'll be all he will think about at night. 

"Arthur, c'mon." 

"Not yet." He called back. Satisfaction ran through him as he swaggered back to Gaius.

Gaius' mind was busy on how he is going to break the news to Uther. He figured over dinner will be best. For the all of them. 

Arthur hummed nervously as he set the table. Seeing his dad always made him happy but tonight something ticked off in his brain. 

Uther arrived shortly after, alone. Arthur hasn't seen his sister in two years, he really didn't care about Nimueh. 

"Uther." Gaius broke the silence. "There's something I need to tell you." 

"Yes," Uther looked at him. 

"It's about Arthur, he has OCD."

Uther raised his eyebrows. "Excuse me?" 

"Obsessive Compulsive Disorder." Gaius elaborated. 

"I know what it is!" He snapped, turning his attention to his son he said. "How'd you get it?"

"I don't don't don't know." Arthur replied. 

"It doesn't matter, there anything money can't fix." He said. Turning back to Gaius "As for you, Gaius. I ask you to watch my son not break him."

"Watching would imply three to four hours not two years. I have grown to love Arthur as a son meanwhile you are keen on forgetting him." 

Uther pushed his half eaten plate away from him. "Good day." 

Arthur watched him slam the door shut after himself. Tears fell down his face, his thoughts were loud yet unclear. All he understood is that hed had something called an OCD and it made his father said. 

"Don't be scared, Arthur." Gaius' voice was low and comforting. "I'll be here for you, always." 

Arthur was scared. He was scared, confused, and angry. Arthur left the table, it was about 5:30 pm. Lance should be waiting. 

 _Stop whinning_ , Lancelot signed with an eye roll. _You'll be fine._  

"Okay..." 

 _C'mon smile_ , Lance smiled. _I brought my ball, I'll be the goalie this time._

Arthur did smile, and laugh. Especially when he beat Lance nineteen to seven. 

 

•

*

☆

 

"Arthur." Dr. Knight's snapping fingers brought him back. "You were out of it for some time." 

"I'm ready." Arthur said. "To tell you." 

"Alright." Leon sat back into his chair. 

"Can Merlin come in too? I want him to hear hear this." 

"Yes, of course." Leon nodded. 

Merlin walked into their session and took his place beside Arthur. Arthur smiled at his best but it didn't reach his eyes. 

"Listen closely. I'm not repeating this again." Arthur sighed. "It started the day I was born-" 

"Don't say that!" Both Merlin and Leon hissed. 

"Please, just listen." Arthur pleaded "It all started the day I was born. My mother, she died having me ...   

**Author's Note:**

> I tried something different, I hope you like it. 
> 
> Comments are appreciated!


End file.
